Author: Human Dot Being

Good tip for mental health: Life is not fair. I thought the whole point was that life was supposed to be fair. I’m even a little embarrassed because this naiveté lasted a really long time. I truly thought that when something wasn’t fair, it was up to me and everyone around who saw it, to fix it. I also thought that if you didn’t fix it, you were part of the problem. While this is all partly true, you can run yourself ragged paying attention to every little thing that you can’t control. Focus on the things you can control. Work hard, be kind, take good care of yourself, and breathe. One step at a time. One day at a time.

Joni Mitchell wrote and sang about paving paradise (covered by the Counting Crows) before I was born and I thought we all knew what to do. 

BUT:

Obesity and type 2 Diabetes are rampant. 

We are scheduling exercise but unless we are ruthlessly disciplined at putting our physical conditioning first regularly (above all the day to day chores and busyness of living in 2023), and/or fortunate enough to pay for expensive accountability partners (gym coaches) we are clearly not getting to it enough. 

I think we just need to slow the heck down. We need to walk more, not just for a stroll, but to accomplish tasks. We need to incorporate physical activity into our days.

We need to have rules around development that encourage community and facilitate pedestrian life. Has anyone tried walking 3 blocks with a back pack of groceries lately? It’s meditative, it’s exercise, it’s environmental, and it’s satisfying. It’s too bad we are all in such a rush to get to…where exactly?

At the end of the day, it is you who lives with and in you. There is a light in you. It might not always feel like it’s there, but it is. There are layers and layers of noise and armour and question marks but your true essence is loving, pure, kind, open, and the real you. I know this can sound ridiculous but trust me, this is coming from all of the ancient spiritual, religious, philosophic traditions, and recognizing this and reconnecting to it, is the best way to start to properly navigate and even thrive in this world. At the end of the day, it is you who lives with and in you. Show and give yourself the love you deserve.

Thank God some of our ancestors were really strong.

Seriously, thank God, or the Universe. 

How else would they have had the strength to survive all of this shit.  We are no longer depending so much on God, and I suppose this is why nothing seems to really matter anymore. Anyone who tries to live within the lines, or even slightly is considered to be “a sheep”; and everyone else thinks they know better than experts and generations of progress. I know nothing is perfect. I know we don’t know where this all goes but a little humility in this lifetime would be good for all of us. We just have to be kind to one another and think about the impact, however small, we will have on others around us and on future generations and maybe our immediate satisfaction won’t seem so important. 

I know the pandemic was hard. But come on. Where are the adults? Why are kids in their rooms on electronics for hours on end without supervision? How are they accessing all of the nonsense that will ruin their lives and complicate life for others unnecessarily? The internet is FULL of garbage. SO FULL of garbage. I want there to be some moral and ethical regulator to restrict content. Who could that be? Let’s all try to figure it out. I know many people will argue that this will remove some basic freedoms but what are we talking about here? Why? What do we want freedom for? What is freedom? As long as we live in society, we all need to bend a little. It’s a give and take. If freedom means doing whatever we want, whenever we want, then freedom is bad – that should get some attention. As a person who tries to be on top of the internet consumption in my house, I am not perfect and neither are the systems we’ve put in place. We try but we can’t control everything. AND adults are addicted too, so how are we supposed to train our children when we can’t avoid the devices ourselves? WE NEED HELP. Yet another article came out this week describing the affect of social media on mental health. How long have we known this is a problem? Almost since the beginning and we just keep on going like nothing’s wrong.

We know a lot and yet we are constantly creating problems instead of addressing the ones right in front of us. We are numbing ourselves into oblivion with technology, alcohol, pot on every corner, “busyness” and/or shutting ourselves out of the world. While, at the same time, micromanaging the only things we can sort of control like our food intake and exercise regime. We should be kind, we know we should eat well most of the time, we know we should help others, we know we should be exercising, we know we are only temporary inhabiting of the earth and that we have to try to take care of it. We know good community is important. We know education is important (especially reading – I will write about this again soon.) We know democracy is important, this is becoming debatable for some reason but let’s remember how easily bad actors can mess up systems. We know polluting, cheating, lying, stealing, killing are wrong and will hurt people. Why does everything have to be so complicated? Are we not supposed to learn from the past and grow in a better direction?

I’m trying really hard to become a good, strong ancestor but it seems we have too much distracting us and that we’ve lost focus on the basic principles of a good life, which I will write more about later!

There is a piece inside the heart of every woman that was once a little girl. She is perfect. She is kind. She is compassionate. She is imaginative. She is smart. She is strong. She is silly…hilarious even. She is forever. Remember her in all that you do today and every day. Do it all for her; never give up. She is the original, untroubled, unburdened, love that is you. Happy International Women’s Day.

I am making every attempt to be progressive, and I consider myself a futurist, but I have to ask: Why we are eliminating the in-person shopping experience altogether? I suppose it could be helpful to try things on in the metaverse and purchase them there for them to be shipped to me. This, I actually understand. I certainly understand it better than simply shopping online for clothes that you can’t try on. I have talked to many people since online shopping became commonplace, who purchase a few sizes online and then ship the ones back that don’t fit. While I get that we have to look out for ourselves and do what makes the most sense for us, this just seems wrong. It’s a waste. It’s people in a warehouse picking things in three sizes and then shipping them to an address, then people will try them on, and return the ones that don’t fit, to be put back into the warehouse. I can’t imagine that it’s great for the companies to waste so much time and energy on the sale of the item and environmentally, it doesn’t add up. Also, and arguably most importantly, where is the human interaction? There’s an expression that goes: “I love humanity, but I’m not sure about humans.” Well, I fell like we have to take control of the future of humanity and if we can no longer exist with each other, save for the few of us who still work with others, what’s the point? I mean it, where does it go from here? I opened a general store in a small town because I thought I could help counter the automation “progress” and encourage pedestrian life and community building. I did this right before people starting using “click and go” grocery shopping. People would rave about how easy these grocery pick-up points were – how great it was that they didn’t have to interact with others. It hurt my heart, not for my business, but for humanity. Now I find myself using the automated cashiers because the line ups are too long to experience human interaction. There is a Ministry of Loneliness in the UK. Mental health is suffering all over the world. How do people meet friends, mentors, lovers, partners anymore? Is it working? It’s all connected. It’s up to us. We are the ones writing the script for the future. Personally, I want human connection in real life to survive even if it’s not always easy and comfortable.

When I first heard about cameras going up everywhere, I remember saying I wasn’t opposed to it because I’m not doing anything really wrong…right?

Next I was being monitored by my spending.  Getting annoyed that the “deciders that be” allowed for this intrusion for the sake of capitalism and data tracking, but I wasn’t too bothered by it because I accepted that this was a part of the cost of doing business nowadays.

Surely, I agreed to all of this monitoring when I signed up for the rewards card, or the credit card, or whatever it was. 

What was I going to do about it anyway? 

Then came the in-home eavesdroppers. This is where I drew the line. While it would be convenient to have a machine lower the volume and tell me the weather, I wasn’t prepared to give away all of my personal information (again, not that there’s anything that interesting but still…) 

I already have my phone listening when it is on. It’s funny – every time the conversation comes up with friends about being listened to by our phones, someone says, “do you really think that’s happening” and then, inevitably the response comes back “oh yeah, 100%, listen to what I saw on my feed after I was talking about something totally random…” 

Where I am torn is on the health tracking front.  I love counting my steps as much as the next person, and I’m sure this data benefits the individual using the device as much, if not more, than the company collecting the information.  But what about the implications of this data being sold to other end users, such as insurance companies?  

I’d like to see some discussion and debate but even questioning it makes people uncomfortable. It seems that everyone is just resigned to accept the intrusion on our privacy in the name of the “convenience” these technologies provide. Are we all just living on display for data purposes? Why should it even matter? What happens to dancing like no one is watching when someone always is?   

I was recently at a futurist conference and I was speaking to another lawyer about my concerns about the creation of a world (the metaverse) where people are living as avatars and playing games and spending ridiculous amounts of time and money on things like digital shoes for their avatar to wear to a party in the metaverse. I mean it, I am concerned about this because there are people sleeping in tent cities all around the world with zero access to the basics for a healthy life, not to mention the needed proper mental health care and then there are others who are living in a fake world and buying fake shoes to show off at a fake party. The colleague I was speaking with looked at me and said: “Who cares? Seriously, what do you care?” I laughed it off and responded: “yeah, I guess you’re right, who cares?” I thought to myself: people drive Maseratis downtown and buy baby clothes from high end retailers that would cover the average monthly mortgage payment of any north American, and while I think this is disproportionate, it doesn’t bother me as much as purchasing wearables in the metaverse. I am 47. I am not a gamer. I get there is a whole world out there that I will only slightly be a part of, but I think it’s important that we question all of this and the direction it takes us. I know there is a lot of good that is being created in the simulated worlds, but commercialism is a weird and unnecessary angle, IMHO. Let me know what you think!

Be kind to others. We really don’t know what they are going through. So many people are suffering and we all talk about mental health and the importance of protecting it and yet I have to search far and wide sometimes for goodness; people are often cruel or indifferent. The truth is, the good comes from within. It comes from love of self and that can spread out to the love of others. Not everyone has love of self. We have to remember this in all of our interactions. It’s not easy, especially on the fly!

ps. Being kind does not mean subjecting yourself to unkind people on purpose, it just means be kind in your limited interactions 🙂

“Is this who you would want to be?’’

“Would you want to be the kind of person who does that?”

“Would you want to win that way?”

It’s probably not the most orthodox parenting style. I will offer the possible outcomes of their actions from my experience in life to help them along and perhaps my tone is more persuasive when I am describing the better option but ultimately, I want them to learn it all. I want them to know what it feels like to make the right decision and what it feels like to make the wrong one; when someone else is watching and when no one is watching. Experience is the best teacher. I just really want them to be kind and strong because even though we have so much, life is not easy.

What you do matters. How you do things matters. Working hard matters. Good grades matter. Good neighbours matter. Helping others matters. Cooking good food and sharing a table with children regularly matters. Smiling at people, waving at people in the country, holding the door for anyone including the elderly, pregnant women, and yes, even young capable strong white men. Within reason, and without too much disruption, we can take the one or two seconds it takes to be kind. Is it appreciated? Who knows? Why does it matter? Because all of these things feel good and do good and they hurt no one, and they all add up to make your life. Who do you want to be?

What is it all about? Everyone has their own way of understanding this question, but for me, the simplest way to boil it down is that most of us know right from wrong and good from bad and at the end of it all, when we look back or even after we’re gone, how do we want to be remembered? What lessons are we teaching? How much are we loving? We are all going to make mistakes; the point is to try to be better until the end. The objective is to try to do some good in the world. This is what I believe “it” is all about.